It's been a crazy few months, many ups and downs. Finally coming to the realization that Dad IS better off in a nursing home. He seems happy for the time being. Would still like to get him closer and into a good adult family home. But that is another story for another day.
Mom has been trying to get a house and that, in itself, has been a challenge. And again another story once its all settled. Three strikes and I thought we were out. But today it came up again. She needs to get a house that is her only way to get to the end product of getting Dad closer and to a good adult family home.
After seeing Mom get so excited and then have it all fall apart I was satisfied with the fact that she wouldn't be moving closer, wouldn't be getting more independance and wouldn't be getting herself closer to the prize.
Today I broke down, broke down to the words "they were wrong". How one group of people could ALL be wrong was crazy. I had just settle everything in my mind and in my heart and it all came rearing its ugly head AGAIN.
I had had enough and I had to walk away, in tears, heavy tears...the kind u have trouble breathing from. Little did I know that my youngest, Maggie (age 3.9) was right behing me. My place to cry is my bathroom, it's farthest way that no one can hear me. I sat down put my head in my hands and just let it out. Something I do very seldom, but seems to be happening more often lately. I looked up after a few minutes to Maggie standing a few feet away. She looked sad..no concerned. As I was looking at her she started walking towards me and put her arms around me and rested her head on top of my shoulder as I continued to cry.Nothing was said. She just held ME, a 3 year old held her adult mother in HER arms as I cried. My crazy, loud little Magpie was there right when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Little does she know that was the most special thing ANYONE has ever done. A simple gesture by a simple little girl made it all better.
One day u will know how u helped your Mama through a tough day. I love you Maggie Jane. Thank you for being there for me. I promise to pay you back one day.
Mom
